


Hold my Hand

by existential1rony



Category: Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-13
Updated: 2018-11-13
Packaged: 2019-08-23 08:44:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16615706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/existential1rony/pseuds/existential1rony
Summary: Something tragic happens to Hailey and Jay is distraught over it. Will these two finally wake up and realize their feelings run deeper than a simple partnership? Totally Upstead!





	Hold my Hand

Jay Halstead was running after Hailey Upton who was running after a small-time gang member who killed his boss. He was chasing the two of them angrier than normal, all things considered, since he told Hailey to wait and let Antonio & Kim cut the gangbanger off with their car at the next cross street. Naturally, Hailey had been her usual stubborn self and sprinted off anyway.   
The two partners were close to catching up to the perp as he was about to exit an alley. Hailey started to scream out, “Stop right now or I will shoot you!” as he ran into the next street. Hailey was so focused on keeping her gun pointed and steady as she ran that she didn’t notice the car coming. Jay could only watch in horror and scream, “HAILEY” as she ran out the alley, right in front of a car driving by.   
The driver tried to break, but it was too little too late. Hailey smashed on top of the hood and fell back into the ground. Jay ran over in seconds to see his partner splattered on the road. In all of his time at war overseas, in all the years he’d been a cop, he’d never been as scared as he was in this moment. Hailey was motionless, but her pulse was still strong. She had blood in her hair, cuts on her face, and her arm looked broken. Jay started radioing for help as the driver got out and tried to assist.   
“Officer down, officer down, I need an ambo right away to Washington and Malcolm.” In his next breath, he two-wayed his team, “Perp heading towards you guys Antonio, Hailey’s badly hurt, going to Med.” Jay’s hands are shaking & he fights back tears as he strokes Hailey’s face softly.   
“Come on Hailey, wake up, please be ok, please be ok!”   
The driver starts to say, “I’m so sorry, I swear I didn’t see her…” but Jay is only paying attention to his fallen partner. He’s slowly trying to undo her vest in hopes that loosening it will help her breath better, when the ambulance and a cop car arrive. The paramedics get out and practically have to force Jay to stand back; he doesn’t want to leave her side for a second.   
They get her stabilized on the board and finally put her on the gurney and into the ambulance. Jay hops in with them. Jay reaches his hand out and holds onto Hailey’s good one for the entire ride. He only lets go when the paramedic needs him to. The ride to Med is only 10 minutes, but it feels like the longest ride of his life. 

\-----------

The Chicago Intelligence team has been inside the waiting room of Chicago Med countless times. Sometimes it’s a wait to question a suspect, sometimes it’s a wait to check if a victim is okay, sometimes it’s to visit their fellow rescue-working friends, and sometimes, it’s waiting on news of a fallen teammate. Tonight is one of those nights, and the air in the waiting room is as somber as it was waiting for news of Al on that dreadful day.   
Voight, Antonio, Kevin, Kim, and Adam are all sitting with their heads in their hands, looking awful and scared. But none of them look as dreadful as Jay does. Trudy Platt keeps trying to comfort him, “She’s gonna be ok, Jay! She’s a fighter, she’s strong, she’ll be fine,” but he knows he won’t relax even a second until he gets word from his brother.   
It’s then that Will Halstead walks into the waiting room. He has his blank “doctor face” on. Jay quickly stands up and sucks in a breath, the others stand too. Will starts to speak.   
“Hailey is definitely banged up good, there’s no question about that, but her resilience is just as strong physically as it is emotionally. She has a concussion and a broken wrist, considering the impact of the car, she’s very fortunate. That’s the good news. The bad news is she’s not out of the woods yet. She had slight internal bleeding in the cerebral cortex, so we had to put her in a medically-induced coma to reduce the swelling and bleed. From a medical perspective, I can give you the facts… the chances of recovery are fairly good considering the location of the trauma, but there is still the possibility that she may never wake. As someone who knows Hailey personally, I’d say the latter is slim. If anyone’s going to fight to pull through this it’s her!” He looks at his brother who looks distraught, his head fallen in disbelief, and comfortingly puts his hand on his shoulder.   
Jay looks up at him, “Can I see her?”  
“Absolutely!”   
Voight calls out as the two of them start to walk away, “We’ll be out here Jay if you need anything!”   
The second Jay walks into Hailey’s hospital room and sees her; he has to control himself from breaking down. She has oxygen tubes in her nose, an IV in her good arm, monitors surrounding her making all kinds of beeping sounds, a cast on her wrist, small cuts throughout her face, and yet, she looks like she’s just peacefully sleeping and the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen. He sits in the chair next to the bed and grabs hold of her hand carefully. He bows his head for long seconds, forgetting Will’s still in the room.   
Will quietly coughs, “I’m gonna leave you alone for now. I know you want some privacy, but you call me if you need anything, or grab a nurse right away. She’ll be ok, she’s a fighter that one…” and quietly chuckles, “not that I have to tell you!” Jay looks up at him and gives him a fraction of a smile. Will squeezes his shoulder and walks out of the room.   
Once it’s just the two of them, Jay allows the tears to fall down his face quietly. He strokes her hand with his thumb.   
“Please wake up, Hailey, please. I need you. I need you around to argue with. I need you to put me in my place when I’m being a stupid or stubborn ass. I need you to take me out for beers. I need our long talks until 2am drinking whiskey around your countertop. I need your laugh in my truck at 7am when I pick you up for the gym. I need you… Please, I can’t lose you; you mean the world to me! I know this is all stuff I should have said before, like ages ago… precisely the reason I need you to wake my stubborn ass up. Just please, don’t leave me and I’ll say it all…”   
He bows and leans his head on her bed railing. He doesn’t know how long he stays in the position. A nurse comes by the door to check in and sees Jay like that. His head as close to Hailey’s as possible, holding her hand; the nurse walks away, deciding he still needs a little more time alone… 

\------------------

A couple days have passed. Jay hardly ever leaves the room or lets go of Hailey’s hand. Virtually the only time it happens is when he has to go to the bathroom, quickly grabs food from the vending machine, or the one time he went back to his place to shower, change, and come right back. His team has all come to visit multiple times, of course. When they do, they bring him meals and sympathetically talk to him, not wanting to lecture about his own health. Voight and Will don’t share the others thoughts; both sensitively but sternly trying to tell Jay he needs to go home for a bit and sleep in his bed, as opposed to a wooden chair. Jay refuses, every day saying there’s no chance he’s not going to be here when she wakes up.   
By the third day, Voight has had it, fearful he’s going to lose two of his detectives. “Look Jay, I know she’s your partner, but you have to take care of yourself too. Hailey’s not here right now to do it for you!”  
Jay just looks at him with his mulish stare. Voight knows he’s not going to budge.   
“Okay, okay… but so help me Jay, if you don’t tell her how you feel when she wakes up, I will!..” Jay’s boss shakes his head and walks out of the room.   
On Day 4, Hailey finally wakes up. Jay’s head is down as he feels Hailey’s fingers move slightly under his own. He pops his head up in time to see her eyes flutter open. He leans over closer to her to make sure she knows he’s there.   
“Hey you…” he says with a small smile ever-growing on his face.   
“Hi…” she squeezes his hand with hers to let him know she’s ok. “Guess there is one time I should have listened to you. Did we get the guy?”   
Jay shakes his head and laughs. Only Hailey could wake up from a coma still concerned whether or not the team accomplished the job. “Yea, we did… Antonio & Kim cut the guy off like I said they would, after you…” He swallows and feels his emotions start to boil up, unable to finish his sentence.   
“Jay, it’s ok. I’m okay. C’mon, we all know nothing serious can happen to me, who else will yell at you when you’re being a stupid ass?” She squeezes his hand harder and smiles at him. He doesn’t look amused.   
“Hailey, I was so frightened I’d…” before he can finish, the nurse and Will come running into the room with smiles on their face.   
“Well, well, look who is up!” Will says.  
Hailey smiles, “Can’t keep a girl down, especially by a car. I couldn’t let you be the only lecturer of Jay for too long!”  
“Oh, I can hardly wait until you’re well enough again to start bullying my brother. He’s been absolutely unbearable without you the past few days!” Will and Hailey laugh.  
“Haha, alright, enough you two. Just heal this girl up already so I can finally sleep in a bed again!”   
“You stayed here every night?” Hailey looks at him.   
“Of course partner, no chance I was leaving you.”  
They stare at each other a while, both smiling softly, until Will starts checking her vitals. 

\-------------------------

A week has gone by since Hailey woke and she’s progressed a little more each day; well enough that the doctors have decided she can finally return home. She won’t be able to return to work for another two months, and even with that it will be strict desk duty, but it’s a start. Since waking, there’s been a carousel of visitors in her room; her team, Voight, her mom, her brothers, some of the guys from CFD, but none have fussed over her as much as Jay. She finally talked him into going home and sleeping for one of the nights, but that was it. Every other day, he stayed and spent the nights napping in the wooden chair. He escorted her to the bathroom so she can put her own clothes back on, being that the wheelchair would arrive soon for them to leave.   
By the time she exits the bathroom, the wheelchair has arrived and Jay’s patiently waiting for her behind it. He goes to help, but she insists she’s fine. When they get in the hallway Will, April, and a couple of her nurses are waiting to say goodbye.   
“Wow Jay, you really need to shave! It looks like YOU were run over by a car!” April jokes and everyone cracks up with the exception of him.   
“I think I’ll keep it… it is November, after all.” He winks at them.   
“Oh no, you’re definitely shaving, you look like one of our suspects!” Hailey says.   
“You’re not the boss of me!”  
“We’ll see about that!” They all chuckle and Will and April lean down to give Hailey a hug.   
“I’ll come by your place tomorrow to check in, hopefully my brother will have left you alone by then.”   
“Very funny!” Jay says as he starts pushing Hailey to the exit. She thanks them all again and waves goodbye.   
They get to Jay’s truck parked in patient pick-up and he helps Hailey in. Once inside, Jay speaks instantly.   
“The guys wanted to be here, but I told them it’s probably best we just get you home and back resting. They’re all going to try to stop by tomorrow.”   
Hailey grabs Jay’s hand. “We’re not going home yet.”  
“What do you mean?” he raises his brow at her.   
“I’m craving deep dish. I went a week with only intravenous fluids in me, and another with mostly cruddy hospital food. I want a legit and unhealthy meal!”   
Jay looks at her, noticing the small cuts healing on her face, the cast on her wrist, and shakes off the fear of almost losing her again. “Hails, I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.”   
“C’mon, please, we don’t have to wait for a whole pie, just a slice. I’m not asking to go to a bar, though, that’d be appreciated too.” She gives him her pleading eyes and her expectant smile that always works on him.   
He turns the ignition to his truck. “Ok, fine, but just one slice, then we get you home to rest!”  
“Y’know, you’re alright, Jay Halstead.” Her smile makes her eyes twinkle under her winter hat. She squeezes his hand harder in appreciation. He just shakes his head and smirks as he pulls away. He’s never been able to refuse Hailey Upton anything. 

\-------------------------

It’s been a couple of hours since Hailey and Jay got back to her house. In that time, Jay’s been relentless with her to sit down and rest. Under different circumstances, she’d be annoyed, but today she finds it amusing and cute.   
“Fine, I’ll sit… AFTER I make some popcorn to watch a movie with.” She says as she walks into the kitchen to grab her microwavable box. Jay comes running after her.  
“I can do it! Geez Jay, all I have to do is throw it in the microwave, I think I’m capable. Can you just go sit down and pick a movie!”   
Jay reluctantly agrees and heads back into the living room. When she thinks he’s not looking, she opens her liquor cabinet to take a quick swig of whiskey.   
“I saw that!” she hears Jay call out from the couch.  
“Wow, you’re worse than a principal in detention!” she laughs as she starts making her way to the couch with the popcorn. “What movie did you choose?”  
He holds up the DVD box and she rolls her eyes. “Kindergarten Cop,” he says.   
“Of course… I guess it’s only fair I let you have this one since you’ve been so good to me.”   
“Why thank you, Hailey. I do believe that’s actually a compliment for once!”  
“Don’t get too used to it.” She says as she plops next to him and shoves a piece of popcorn in his mouth with her good hand. They start the movie and get through a chunk of it with minimal talking. Then THE scene comes on…  
“IT’S NOT A TUMOR!” Jay screams in his best Arnold accent, which is atrocious. Hailey laughs and throws a few pieces of popcorn in his face. Jay looks shocked and reaches over to grab the bucket from her lap.   
“Y’know, you’re lucky you’re injured, or you’d be in some sever trouble right now.”  
Hailey smirks, raises her eyes, and pops a piece of popcorn into her mouth victoriously. “There’s no world where you’d best me Jay, injured or not.”   
He nods his head with a smirk. “We’ll see about that!” she can sense he’s debating whether or not to dump the remaining popcorn on her, judging how he’s angling the bucket.   
She laughs, “Don’t you do it Jay, I’m injured, remember!?” she holds up both hands, making sure to emphasize the cast. It’s his turn to roll his eyes.   
“Oh yea, NOW you want to play that card. You’ve been trying to act like you were never in the hospital all day!”  
“Truce?” she reaches out her good hand to shake, he puts down the popcorn and obliges. When their hands touch, they both feel electricity and quickly pull away. Both get silent for a long while and continue to watch the movie.   
Hailey is the first to finally speak. She hesitantly says, “Soooo… when are you going to tell me that you need me?”   
Jay gives her a questioning look.   
“In the hospital, you promised you’d tell me everything if I woke up.”  
Jay looks at her in complete shock and awe. “You heard all that?”  
“I don’t know how, but I was able to hear everything while I was unconscious. It wasn’t until just before when we shook hands that it all came back to me. I remember what you said, I remember the conversations when people visited, I remember you holding my hand and never letting it go…”   
“Hailey, I…”  
“Look Jay, we don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. Forget I brought it up. I know it was a trying and frightening time for you, people tend to say anything in those circumstances that don’t necessarily mean something…” she cuts herself off, realizing how vulnerable she sounds.   
“Hailey, no, it absolutely did mean something!” he reaches over and grabs her hand with both of his.  
“When I saw you laying there on the ground, blood all around, I thought I lost you. I’ve never been so scared. Scared because not only did I think you were gone, but also scared that you’d be gone before I ever got the courage to admit how I felt about you. Hailey, you’re my friend and my partner, and I love you for it, but it’s so much more than that. I want more than that. I don’t want to leave after our drinking sessions, and I want to wake up next to you before we go to the gym and start our day. And I want to give us a chance, despite the fact it never worked in either of our favors in the past with prior partners. I’m done letting my past dictate how I feel about you currently. And if you don’t want these things, that’s ok too, we can forget this conversation… but I needed you to know!”   
A tear falls down Hailey’s cheek, but Jay realizes its happy tears as she starts to smile. “Jay… I felt the exact same way when you got shot. The only difference was I had the fortune of realizing you’d be fine that same night and my feelings for you scared me so much that I made some stupid decisions. The thought of losing someone else I cared about with my whole heart terrified me. So I’ve been pretending the feelings weren’t there, but I don’t want to pretend anymore…”   
Jay grins and lifts his hand to brush away Hailey’s tears with his thumb. He leans in tentatively and kisses her softly, hesitantly, before he pulls back looking for approval. Hailey grabs him by his neck and kisses him back. When they finally pull apart, they have small smiles on their faces and look positively giddy.   
Before Jay goes to kiss her again, Hailey says, “Yea… you definitely need to shave!”   
Jay laughs. “If I shave, does that mean I can keep kissing you?”   
Hailey pretends to ponder it, stroking her chin. “Hmm, I’ll consider it!”  
Jay quickly hops off the couch, “Where are your razors?” he asks as he starts walking to her bathroom.  
Hailey cracks up. Leave it to the two of them to both almost die to finally get over their issues. Voight would be proud.

**Author's Note:**

> [A/N: Thanks again for all the love for the stories I've posted. Glad you've enjoyed, it's much appreciated. I guess fanfiction is all we've got until the actual writers of the show wise up. Until then, hopefully more people continue to post about Upstead!]


End file.
